I have been kind of wound up for a few days about money. It seems a recurring thing in my life. I don’t spend money on expensive clothes, or vacations, or anything like that, but I rarely seem to have enough to make ends meet. It has been that way for much of my adult life.
I started going through online job ads, but I have to confess that I’m not capable of doing much anymore. I was spoiled at Enbridge. I worked mostly from home, so I didn’t have the stressful drive, I mostly just attended meetings and provided reports and advice. It was easy and I was paid well for it.
When they let me go, I had a fair settlement, that allowed me to dig myself out of debt entirely, except for my mortgage and car loan. I even topped up my RRSPs. That left me with enough to put some into my TFSA. But try as I might, I have had to dig into that this year and it is almost gone. I was just so worried yesterday that I even set myself up to answer surveys and so far, I’ve earned almost $10, but it took me several hours to do that yesterday.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I was going about it all wrong. Any time in my life, when I have gotten to when I thought was the precipice of financial disaster, something came up to save me. I have to just let go and let God deal with it and I will be fine. We had a chat this morning and agreed that I would continue to read the daily job alerts that I get and if the perfect job came up, I would know that it was the right thing to do. I will leave the book sales and lottery winning up to God, because I seem to have no influence over getting money out of either of those!
If I were to win big, I already have so many plans for it--an actual church building for The Community Catholic Church of Canada, donations to the MS Society, Heart and Stroke, Cancer Society, Sick Kids Hospital, CNIB (maybe a few others), condos or houses for each of my two daughters and their stepsister, pay off my mortgage and car loan, do a few things around the house (I really need a rail for the front steps!) and travel a bit with Cavan, my kids and my friend Viv. I’m afraid that a big win wouldn’t last long with me!
In the meantime, I will let go and let God. I have my ordination coming up soon and then the priest course and I am sure that all will get sorted out in due time. Perhaps what I need to be doing, I cannot do until I am a deacon, or perhaps not until I am a priest. I just have to hold to the faith that things will get sorted out, which should be easy because it always has.
So, dear friends, find the strength you need to let go. If you know the story of the footprints--there are two sets of footprints for some of your journey and one set of footprints, when you need to be carried, and in the more recent story, one set of footprints and drag marks, when you needed to be dragged kicking and screaming to where you needed to be.
Let go and let God. Watch for the signs, and all will be fine. God bless!